I've had a lot of wishes from last year come true!! Praise the Lord :)
4. Better self-esteem and more self-confidence (this was mostly tied to my weight issues) 5. Lose weight (in a healthy manner) and to not gain it back! (Still too early to know if I'll gain it back, but my weight issues really came to a point where it took over my life, and after crying out to God to give me back some control, I was able to lose some. HOPEFULLY, I'll be able to stay in control and continue having a healthy lifestyle and healthy weight) 6. Forgiveness for myself, and for me to forgive others, especially one particular person (I think I have FINALLY, FINALLY forgiven that one person after much prayer and repentance to God over my sinful wrath and stubbornness as I held onto my anger unnecessarily for so long. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Praise God and thank you to my patient friends!) 15. For Lemon, Jenny and the other new grads to find good jobs that they enjoy... no matter where that takes them (well, Jenny did at least) 17. For Jacquie to become an AWESOME lawyer and to continue to heal her heart 18. Boyfriend for Ina that will never cause her sorrow (Now Ina's getting MARRIED!!!) 19. For Sophia to go to a great med school and for her family situation to improve 20. Anthropologie gift card 24. For my cat Fei Fei to continue to be healthy. No vet bills please!! (Now she's with Erica, who loves her very much) 26. To cook more and eat out less 40. To continue to have Bible studies...dunno how we're gonna do it once Sophia goes to med school (I was blessed to find an AWESOME small group here in Austin. Praise God!) 41. To see Liz more often (I'm selfishly glad that Tong goes to UT now, haha) 43. To visit Chicago and Boston because I've never been (March trip to Chiiiiiiiicago!) 49. To improve my Chinese (All that Chinese music I listen to and dramas that I watch expanded my vocab!) 57. To continue to work out regularly and maintain healthy lifestyle 59. For Erica and Quinn to have a nice wedding and lasting marriage (It's still too early to know about the "lasting marriage" part, but the wedding was very nice) 63. For everyone to have a safe and fun holiday season 67. For Pat to be happy, wherever she is and whatever she is doing 77. For Jess to continue having a blast in grad school
Now for my wishlist 2009:
1. To always remember to put God first in my life 2. Patience 3. To get into grad school for advising/counseling, wherever that may be, and LOVE IT......or, if that is not the path that God wants to put me on, to give me understanding and guidance as I follow the path that He has for me 4. To not get discouraged and give up (or want to give up) so easily 5. To not let fear prevent me from doing things 6. To maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle 7. More self confidence and better self-esteem 8. To see old friends more often and to make new friends and cultivate meaningful, Godly relationships 9. For Mom's walking and cognition to get better 10. For Dad to be able to handle the stress of work and taking care of the family...and to learn to eat better (he loves sweets and steak and junk food) 11. To not ever have to worry about finances 12. A (paid) part-time or full-time job that I enjoy (or at least don't dread) in the near future so that I can have some income and more experience before grad school (if I get into grad school), and a GREAT and satisfying job once I graduate from school (or if I don't get in, how about a great and satisfying job now?) 13. To see Dir en grey in concert again! 14. For Pat to pass her teaching certification and become an awesome teacher! 15. For Karen to find a great job that she loves, wherever that may be 16. For Ms. Frog Queen, Chu-y, Sophia, Jen, Jeanne, Nicole, and everyone else in med school to do well 17. For Elise to get into a great medical school 18. For Ina to have a spectacular wedding! 19. For everyone to have a happy, healthy year in 2009~ (yes, that just about covers everything, right?) 20. To be able to visit Shirley in NY; Jac in El Paso; Pat in LA; Jess in Pittsburg; Maria, Melly, Jessica B., Lemon, and Frog Queen in Houston; and of course, everyone still in Dallas 21. To honor my commitments to respect and purity of heart, mind, and body 22. To be less judgmental 23. For that person's well-being 24. For more laughter and spiritual growth with my new small group in Austin, as well as my old Bible study from Dallas (love you girls!) 25. To be a good example to others in every way that I possibly can 26. To continue to see Liz often, even after Tong graduates and moves back to Dallas 27. To improve my Chinese 28. To remember and improve my Japanese...because I've forgotten most of it 29. To learn Korean...mostly because I want to boast that I know 4 languages...cuz I don't count my Spanish. Actually my Japanese is so bad now, I shouldn't count that anymore either... 30. To handle stress in a healthy manner 31. Patience with my grandmother...because I usually get annoyed and ignore her -_- 32. Forgiveness for my cousin and aunt. I'm still angry with them, so they should be GLAD they live far away from me. 33. For Quinn to find a job in Austin so that Erica won't have to move! 34. Anthropologie gift card 35. Target gift card 36. A fun and safe New Year's since Shirley will be home YAY 37. To keep in touch with friends 38. To continue to be happy being single because with loneliness comes sadness as well as a temptation to compromise on things that should never be comprised. 39. No car accidents for me or my family and friends!! 40. To go to SXSW again, assuming they have good artists that I recognize (or to find new wonderful artists that I'm not familiar with yet) 41. For Cressy to get that cat she's always wanted 42. To get back in touch/stay in touch with some of my IES Tokyo friends 43. Nice hair all the time 44. Nice skin - no more acne, no wrinkles or large pores. Good skin is the key to (physical) beauty 45. To finally get to see Mimi, Victor and the rest of Team Awesome soon 46. To get that photoshoot with Karen and Kat that Hubert promised us but we never did 47. To start playing piano again 48. A better, stronger singing voice (cuz it gets hoarse immediately since I've never had formal training) 49. To learn guitar because I too want to be cool 50. To marry Kaoru of Dir en grey.....my wish every year since I was 14-years-old. Had to throw something fangirly and childish in there, right? 51. For Fei Fei, my lovable, fat, and ungrateful cat, to continue to have a happy and healthy life with Erica and Quinn (or eventually with me again) 52. For Noel and C&G's business to pick up 53. FOR THE ECONOMY TO IMPROVE AND FOR MORE JOBS TO BE CREATED 54. World peace! 55. To visit Greece, Spain, Singapore, Hong Kong, and Seoul 56. To go back and visit Japan and Taiwan (and not get chased out of Taiwanese clothing stores for being too chubby this time...) 57. To go back to visit London, Paris, and Rome again 58. A clean, organized house (in my dreams right?) 59. GOOD HEALTH for my family, my friends, and myself always 60. For my Uncle CT and my Aunt Helen 61. For nephews Eitan and Eland to grow up to be strong, healthy, and courteous young men 62. For Emy and all that she is going through right now (though I don't know the details) 63. For Brian to get into a great college and to have fun (and not go crazy) 64. To always keep sight of the big picture and keep things in perspective 65. A refill of Majolica Majorca mascara. It sucks that Japan has such good makeup but it's SO EXPENSIVE 66. To have better endurance when I run (it's not even a "run", it's jogging), because I love running/walking in my neighborhood! 67. To own a cute little house or condo when I'm older, done with school and have a steady income 68. To eventually have a Godly, patient husband (I DEFINITELY don't want one anytime soon!), or to enjoy being single if that is what I'm called to be 69. To be less awkward. This is kind of related to #5 (to not let fear prevent me from doing things) 70. To stop global warming......singlehandedly! Just kidding (about the singlehandedly part I mean) 71. A flat tummy/nice abs 72. A better sense of direction or a GPS because I have a crippling fear of getting lost! ><'' 73. To learn how to parallel park 74. No parking tickets if I end up going to UT for school! Yikes! 75. Mars (Zhan Shen tv series) poster 76. To be able to compose a song 77. To draw and sketch as well as I used to in high school 78. To learn how to tie an obi so that I can wear the real kimono I have (not the fake one from China that has a velcro obi) 79. A pretty hanfu like the ones Cressy and Cin have 80. To never experience betrayal or backstabbing 81. A second chance and/or a little extra help for those in need - the poor, the hungry, the sick 82. To always be grateful 83. To not have the urge to spend money that I don't have or shouldn't be spending 84. To not sweat the little things 85. A new laptop 86. To volunteer more...what usually stops me is not laziness but for some reason, fear. Fear of what I don't really know, just fear of the unknown I think? I have an unnatural fear of a lot of things. 87. To eat whatever I want, however much I want and not gain weight! (I'm hungry right now) 89. For Rocky and Nicolo to get into Architecture school 90. A Girls' Night with Elise and Jihye 91. To be better at accounting and managing finances 92. Wisdom in all things 93. To not be lazy and vacuum/clean my room more often 94. More of that raspberry viniagrette drink stuff that I bought from H-Mart 95. A better mattress 96. To be more of a morning person...because my body and mind don't wake up until 10 am or later 97. Endless supply of red pepper hummus...yum. 98. For my eyes not to get red so easily. It's my contacts I swear! 99. Perfect vision 100. To always have good hearing...seeing Dad makes me appreciate the fact that I can enjoy music.
"Adair, who is 30, found herself mired in a Quarterlife Crisis and sought professional help. She says, “I worked with a life coach, and he helped me a lot to realize that I was creating a vicious cycle in my life.... It was a cycle with four different phases, and I’ve followed it basically throughout my life. The steps were: I would get really excited about something, something new something different, something stellar, big. I went off to school totally excited and ready for an awesome experience. Stage two would be like ‘Oh, this is it? This is kind of boring now.’ After one-and-a-half exciting and non-stop years, I realized that I wasn’t excited about being there anymore. Stage three would be ‘What am I doing, why am I choosing to do this?’ In that third stage I would inevitably have some type of breakdown, [which] usually consisted of crying and talking through the feelings of emptiness and boredom with a friend or family member. Then I would have kind of breakthrough in that experience and get myself back up. At that point, I went abroad to Seville, Spain.... Now every time I’m faced with a change or new situation or find myself bored, I ask myself if this is a part of the cycle, or is this genuinely how I’m feeling.”
Will this happen to me when/if I go to graduate school? At first I was really excited about advising, but now after months of studying and thinking about the potential lack of job openings, my head has been filled with worries and doubts, and I have grown less enthusiastic about it. In fact, I fear it.
When/If I enter graduate school, I’m sure I won’t always be super enthusiastic. I’ll probably grow more concerned about getting to class on time, finding parking and getting around campus, and day-to-day things like that. I’ll probably get bored with classes and stressed with studying. Exams and papers will grow increasingly difficult, and I’ll wonder, “Why am I doing this?”
How do I stay motivated? What should I do if I don't get into graduate school? What happens if I spend all this money, time, and effort to get a Master's degree, but there are no jobs available? UT Austin is laying off staff this year...and advisers typically stay at their jobs for a very long time so maybe when I graduate there won't be any vacant positions. Even if the economy picks up sometime next year, I firmly believe that it won't make a full recovery for another few years, and I don't believe there will be any growth. Most companies and public institutions have downsized this year and the year before, and I think they will probably remain at this smaller size. End of recession does NOT equal recovery; actual recovery estimates are grim at best.
This is one of the very few songs I like by this band...but it's a really good song and pretty video.
F.I.R. - Yue Ya Wan (月牙灣) ("Moon Crescent Bay")
The sand of the heavens of Dun Huang Carries with them our memories I look back midway And the Qin passage is boundless and winding
I dreamt that I've passed through the Western Regions Embodying many rugged hills of Shandong Love is like a traveling journal I will seek its riddle
Look at the tears under Moon Crescent Bay That is forgotten above the Silk Road
Whose heart is it? That is alone and left behind Is he still well? How I want to love him Those everlasting tears Solidify just that one sentence Perhaps they can evaporate
Whose love is it? That is stronger than tears Calling softly That can let me melt Every drop of rain water Evolves into my wings Running after the person that I love
Just some random music videos of artists and songs that I've been listening to lately. Not necessarily reflecting on how I'm feeling or anything, just some stuff to share and for people to enjoy.
1. Da Mouth 大嘴巴 - King and Queen 國王皇后 ("Da" means Big, so their name is "Big Mouth"). Diverse group, and Harry the half-korean half-Chinese guy in the group has finally convinced me that yes, Korean boys can be CUTE.
2. 唐禹哲 - 愛我 (Danson Tang - "Ai Wo"). "Ai wo" means "Love Me". I'm not crazy about the video, but I love love this song, mostly because I love Danson's voice. It helps a lot that Danson is attractive.
3. "Utakata" by Amano Tsukiko.
4. Cover of "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys by Korean singer (who also sings Jpop) Younha
5. "Dai Wo Zou" ("Take Me Away") by Rainie Yang. Haha sorry, the video doesn't start until about 0:33 in
